If you are considering EMDR, you may worry that opening up painful experiences will leave you feeling worse. Perhaps you have already started therapy and noticed that things feel harder between appointments.
EMDR can temporarily increase distress, and some people experience a more significant worsening of symptoms. Any deterioration deserves attention. You should never feel that you have to keep struggling silently because therapy is supposed to be difficult.
The important questions are how much your symptoms have changed, whether they are settling, and how they are affecting your everyday life.
Why might things feel harder during EMDR?
During EMDR, you focus on aspects of a distressing experience while receiving bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements or alternating taps. Feelings connected to that experience may become more noticeable.
For example, someone who usually keeps sadness at a distance might find themselves crying more readily. Another person might notice anger that they previously struggled to acknowledge.
Thoughts, feelings or memories can also arise between appointments. Your therapist should prepare you for this possibility and discuss ways of managing distress outside sessions.
The experiences described as EMDR side effects vary. Having a strong reaction does not, by itself, tell you whether treatment is helping.
Do you have to feel worse before you feel better?
No. Worsening symptoms are not a requirement for successful EMDR.
Some people experience relief during treatment without a noticeable increase in distress afterwards. Others find parts of the work emotionally demanding. There is no level of suffering you need to reach to demonstrate that you are doing therapy properly.
It can be tempting to dismiss your concerns with “perhaps this means it is working”. However, discomfort alone is not a reliable measure of progress. Your therapist should also consider changes in your symptoms, relationships, functioning and ability to cope.
When does increased distress need reviewing?
Rather than comparing yourself with someone else’s experience, consider what has changed for you.
Feeling tearful one evening while remaining able to manage daily life is different from repeatedly missing work, barely sleeping or feeling frightened to be alone. Neither experience should be ignored, but the support needed may differ.
Speak to your therapist if flashbacks become more frequent, panic escalates, or you feel increasingly disconnected from yourself or your surroundings. Increased reliance on alcohol, substances or self-harm also needs prompt attention.
Could EMDR be moving too quickly?
Sometimes the treatment plan needs adjusting. A memory may bring up more distress than anticipated, or circumstances outside therapy may reduce the capacity you previously had for processing.
Bereavement, conflict, exhaustion or an unsafe home situation can affect what feels manageable. Your response needs to be understood alongside what is happening in your life.
Understanding what happens in an EMDR session can help you recognise that discussing your response is part of treatment, rather than an interruption to it.
Does this mean EMDR is wrong for you?
A difficult response does not automatically rule out EMDR, but continuing unchanged is not always appropriate either.
The question of whether EMDR is right for you includes your current circumstances, the difficulties you want help with and your experience of treatment so far.
You are allowed to reconsider. Therapy should offer space for honest feedback, including doubts about the approach.
EMDR support in Swansea and online
I am a BACP-Accredited psychotherapist, offering sessions in Swansea and online. If you are worried about starting EMDR, we can discuss your concerns before deciding on an approach.
You can contact me about EMDR therapy to explore what support might suit you.
