Transference in Counselling: Understanding the Invisible Guest

Imagine walking into a therapy session and suddenly feeling angry, anxious, or overly attached to your therapist — even though they’ve done nothing to cause it.
That emotional reaction might be transference in action.

In my clinical work as a BACP-accredited psychotherapist specialising in trauma and EMDR, I see transference as one of the most revealing parts of therapy. It shows us how past relationships still shape our present ones — often without our awareness.

What Is Transference?

Transference occurs when clients project feelings, expectations, or behaviours originally formed in early relationships onto the therapist. It’s not manipulation or resistance — it’s a map of the client’s emotional history.

A client who grew up with a critical parent might hear a therapist’s neutral observation as judgment. Another might idealise their therapist as the caring figure they never had. These emotional echoes offer valuable insight when explored safely.

Recent research (Smith et al., 2022) highlights how transference overlaps with attachment patterns, especially in trauma-focused therapy.

Why Transference Matters

Transference gives therapists and clients a live demonstration of old relational patterns. By noticing and naming them, both can begin to rewrite how trust, safety, and self-expression function in the here-and-now.

For clients, understanding transference can reduce shame — it’s not about “overreacting,” but revisiting unfinished emotional business.

If you ever find yourself reacting strongly in therapy, ask:

“Is this response about what’s happening now, or something familiar from before?”

Transference vs Counter-transference

While transference refers to the client’s projection, countertransference describes the therapist’s emotional response to those projections.

In supervision, I regularly reflect on my own reactions — whether protective, frustrated, or overly sympathetic — to keep the therapeutic space grounded and ethical. Recognising counter-transference ensures the client’s needs remain at the centre of the work.

Identifying Transference in Therapy

Common signs include:

  • Repeated emotional patterns or themes within sessions

  • Idealising or criticising the therapist disproportionately

  • Over-dependence or withdrawal when boundaries are set

  • Strong emotional shifts unrelated to session content

These reactions can be rich material for understanding attachment and emotional regulation.

Working With Transference

When handled safely, transference becomes a tool for healing rather than conflict. Approaches include:

  • Exploring what the emotional reaction reveals about past relationships

  • Maintaining safety through co-regulation and grounding techniques

  • Helping clients distinguish between present-day reality and historic emotional memory

  • Discussing the dynamic openly to foster insight and trust

Transference isn’t a problem to “fix” — it’s a relationship pattern to understand and reframe.

Ethical & Safety Considerations

Therapists must manage transference carefully, respecting professional boundaries while staying emotionally attuned. According to the BACP Ethical Framework for the Counselling Professions (2018), this involves:

  • Ongoing supervision to monitor counter-transference

  • Transparency around roles and boundaries

  • Sensitivity to power dynamics and potential dependency

  • Commitment to client safety and autonomy

If a therapeutic relationship begins to feel confusing or uncomfortable, clients should raise this with their therapist or seek a second opinion.

Key Takeaways

  • Transference is the emotional repetition of past relationships within therapy.

  • It can illuminate deep relational patterns and unresolved conflicts.

  • Awareness — by both therapist and client — transforms it into a path toward healing.

  • Boundaries, supervision, and open dialogue are essential.

References

  • Freud, S. (1912). The Dynamics of Transference.

  • Yalom, I. D. (2002). The Gift of Therapy.

  • Smith, J. et al. (2022). Attachment and Transference in Trauma Therapy. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 52(3).

  • British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (2018). Ethical Framework for the Counselling Professions.

Disclaimer

This article is for educational purposes only and should not replace personal therapy. If you’re in emotional distress or need immediate support, contact your GP or local crisis service.

Published August 8 2025 | Last reviewed November 2025

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Rachael Fox

Psychotherapist (Counselling & EMDR), MBACP (Accred)

I'm a psychotherapist based in Swansea, specialising in trauma. I use EMDR to help people feel calmer, safer, and more connected.